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The Cost of Love

by Kezzia Keener

I must admit it: I didn't quite know what I was asking for that day as I knelt beside my bed, asking God to teach me to love like He loved. Honestly, though, it didn't occur to me that maybe I should examine the cost a little more. I only knew that I had come face to face with Love Himself, and I just wanted to love like Him. 

About a year passed, and I found myself revisiting the topic. Progress in love seemed slow to me, and each day I seemed to find more and more things that I needed to surrender to Him. I still desired to love like Him, but the effort involved in learning His way seemed overwhelming. I’d gotten distracted along the way, making it seem even harder. Needless to say, my sense of failure left me feeling depressed. 

I thank God that He didn't leave me to my own devising. In the months since, I have begun to understand a little better what it means to “love like Him.”

I mean, who but God could come to a pile of filthy rags and rotting sores that smell very strongly of death, and simply love with a love strong enough to hold me—and all my unrighteousness—close to His heart, and call me His, beautiful, forgiven—before the transformation.

I don’t understand this love. I don’t begin to understand. But I still want to love like Him.

I know it won’t be easy. I’ll have to surrender and throw out and confess and struggle, but He’ll give the strength I need. My life is in His hands. I am His, and I can trust Him to make of me what He wants me to be. When I partner with His almighty power, there are no impossibilities.

My prayer has changed a little bit. Now I’m asking Him not just to teach me to love like He loves, but to purify me (with fire, if needed) and cleanse me from every stain. I still don’t think I know where this prayer will take me, but I want Him in my heart, forever, no matter the cost. So may I be broken if He may be glorified, and may His fire burn all my heart’s dross so His love can be mine.

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